14 years later

Premature Menopause. I watched the dandelions twist up towards the sun through the cracks in the sidewalk. Ovarian failure. The April sun was especially warm on my neck as I pressed my cell phone closer to my ear, plugging my other ear with my finger. The landscapers started up the lawnmower across the street. I looked back at my office building and then out to the side lot brimming with tall grass. High FSH. Ovaries are doing everything they can.  Of course, I could still do IVF, right? A last resort? Actually, no. You can only do in vitro if there are eggs in your ovaries…

“I suggest you get your name on the egg donor list.”

I stared down at my pink toenails peeking out of my new work flats.  My life had just changed in a major way.

butterflyThis day, 14 years ago, my best friend, Rae Giarnese took her last breath and peacefully left this world.  I have started this blog as a reminder of the pain of existence, the resilience of the human spirit, the importance of finding gratitude and acceptance in every single day and the peace and courage that comes from the support and love of your friends and family. Rest in peace, Rae. You are always in my heart.

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