tomorrow i head back to the center for my fifth and final IUI cycle. it makes for a long day, up with the birds, over the river, spend an hour or so staring up at the ceiling, giving some blood, full day at the office, back over the river, teach yoga, eat some soup, shots, sleep sleep sleep.
a few months ago i remember being in the waiting room, entirely packed with women. a blonde woman with turquoise ring thumb-wrestles her blackberry. an indian woman with a long braid, so long she had to flip it onto her lap so she didn’t sit on it. some women in sweats, some in suits. some speaking spanish. i remember thinking that these women were in such different social circles that they would never be in the same place at the same time.. except for this one thread weaving us all together in some sort of fucked up quilt of life. but there was compassion in that room. and understanding. and sisterhood. and hope. it was a room full of women who were not going to take no for an answer. who had committed to the process.
gratefully, my yoga practice has peeled back some layers for me. recently, at a hot power class an insightful teacher had likened sun salutations to the way a baby suckles. the rhythm of breath and movement of vinyasa is calming and nurturing to the nervous system just like the repetitive suckling of a baby. i liked this a lot. for me, the fundemental idea that gives me momentum in this process is having a plan. simple concept. know where you are going. the ‘how to get there’ was a little grey area, but i’m moving towards it. one sun salute at a time.