back from the edge

the lupron made me crazy. not immediately, but about a week into it and i was convinced i was dying. my joints ached. i couldn’t sleep. the little sleep i did get would end abruptly with excruciating leg cramps. i was sideswiped with blinding headaches. my mouth tasted funny. and the crying! random crying. at first i thought i was sad. but i wasn’t. for the first time since college,  i just couldn’t handle my drugs.

the doctor took me off it. much better now.  so, after a week on 450 of follistim, back tomorrow for a stim ultrasound and bloodwork. not sure what to expect and not really overly concerned. i could have an egg or two starting to grow, or i could have none. to put things in perspective, someone my age (33) on this level of stimulating drugs could have between 8-30 eggs growing. and i am fully prepared that i might not have any.

and that would be ok. it would take this entire situation out of my hands completely. and with that knowledge i can move on.

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