the empty room

two days from now i will start on the lupron again in preparation for ivf#2.  this will be a frozen egg transfer. we have two embryos frozen and provided they both thaw ok we will use them both in this attempt. i am getting excited and i have hope that however this cycle goes i will keep grounded and not give in to the highs and lows of each day of the process. i feel that i know more about what to expect this time, and the fact that the donor is not involved this time helps… the less variables, the better. i am also going to compliment this treatment with acupuncture and reiki which i will start to receive weekly. i am also taking a kinder approach with my body, trading the running for yoga and giving up a few of the classes i teach to be able to get more rest, more time in bed, more time to care for myself, more time for brian. looks like the transfer will be 5 weeks from today.

i have been thinking about the empty room we have in our house.. the room that i have not brought myself to finish or decorate since we moved into this house 3 years ago. initially, it was just that we had so much to do on our home renovations lists, huge remodeling projects, new kitchen, structural changes to open up the floor plan, 3 new bathrooms, new dark walnut floors. the empty room right now contains a wood chest stuffed full of my great aunts quilts, and a 10 foot mirror. that’s all. when we moved in, we removed the wallpaper in every room and i picked a color palette of cool tones.. grey-khakis, greys, silver-purples and blues. i painted this room blue only because brian didn’t like the restoration hardware lavender i bought for our room so i was able to salvage it by adding some leftover blue to it to darken it up. 3 years later, the room is still empty and badly needs some attention. all the windows and door frames need trim and the closet needs some work. but i refuse to do any of it without purpose. in the last few years i started to visualize this room as a baby’s room and it got so that i couldn’t picture anything else in there. so it will stay empty until we are blessed with a little tot to put in there.  for now, i just go in there to get a full view of my outfit. 🙂

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2 responses to “the empty room

  1. Hi, Just started reading your blog. I am also doing an FET. I’ll hold thumbs for us both. I just realized that I haven’t implemented any acupuncture. Thanks for the reminder.

  2. I have one of those bedrooms too. I always wonder what would happen if I finally put it to use and cleaned it up. Just hoping for a baby to fill it so it seems that making it into a room we might use would alter that dream. We do use the extra closet though – LOL!

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