today i am feeling better. i got some meds on friday that made me miscarry over the weekend, in a very controlled way, which was good. i had pain meds and my couch, no plans and a husband who kept holding my hand. it feels good to move on, over this. we are adjusting. it’s amazing to think, how when you first learn something like what we heard on tuesday it’s initially shocking, but time passes and you let youself think of other things and you get used to the new way things are. it’s important to have that perspective in the midst of the pain and sadness.. knowing that it will pass.
in a few weeks, we will pick a new donor with all new criteria. last time, i wanted someone who had not previously donated. now we will look for someone who has had great results, lots of pregnancies, lots of eggs. the doctor tells me i am an ideal candidate for trying again. he suspects that either the donor’s eggs weren’t great or that we just got two rounds of really bad luck.
i taught yoga tonight and i left feeling pretty great. it was a flow vinyasa class.. pretty vigorous. it felt good to get back to my life.