today was a great day! i am currently on the couch with brian watching tv, knitting and eating chocolate and vanilla fro-yo, so tonight is not so bad either. went in for my blood work today, and my hcg level was 335! Yahooooo! I took a test at home on monday, the waiting was impossible, my hand was shaking like crazy as i was trying to read the result. i yelled to brian who was in our bedroom changing out of his work clothes, “somethings happening!!!” it was positive, so i was very hopeful that nothing drastic would happen this week and today would be a good number. thank you, thank you, thank you.
I am trying to enjoy this time, the ups, the highs, the time when things are looking very good. of course, it’s hard not to worry, but i keep reminding myself that there is nothing i can do, i am like an innocent bystander in my own life right now, and to embrace the freedom to let go that this awareness brings.
i am not always calm and peaceful. i work really hard at keeping perspective on things and not sweating the small stuff. it’s something i have to constantly stay on top of, like walking a dog off a leash. without paying attention to it, the mind wanders off and creates all sorts of stories and drama, sniffing every tree trunk and flowerbed. but if i watch closely, i can bring it back before it takes off and gets lost i have to stand out on the street until dark calling it’s name.