today was a great day! i am currently on the couch with brian watching tv, knitting and eating chocolate and vanilla fro-yo, so tonight is not so bad either. went in for my blood work today, and my hcg level was 335! Yahooooo! I took a test at home on monday, the waiting was impossible, my hand was shaking like crazy as i was trying to read the result. i yelled to brian who was in our bedroom changing out of his work clothes, “somethings happening!!!”  it was positive, so i was very hopeful that nothing drastic would happen this week and today would be a good number. thank you, thank you, thank you.

I am trying to enjoy this time, the ups, the highs, the time when things are looking very good. of course, it’s hard not to worry, but i keep reminding myself that there is nothing i can do, i am like an innocent bystander in my own life right now, and to embrace the freedom to let go that this awareness brings.

i am not always calm and peaceful. i work really hard at keeping perspective on things and not sweating the small stuff. it’s something i have to constantly stay on top of, like walking a dog off a leash. without paying attention to it, the mind wanders off and creates all sorts of stories and drama, sniffing every tree trunk and flowerbed.  but if i watch closely, i can bring it back before it takes off and gets lost i have to stand out on the street until dark calling it’s name.


4 responses to “BFP!

  1. Congrats! I knew it! I am thrilled for you guys! As always, love how you so eloquently
    describe this process and the fact that you really have to try to enjoy the good times and push worry away as best as you can so as not to miss out on the joy. YAY!

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